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The guy says "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life", to which the bartender replies "I'm very sorry, but it's uncanny. You must have a double. Make it a scotch. When they get up to leave they're extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there! He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?

The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. The bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast? He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw. The bartender says, "So, why the long face? They're complimentary! The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here.

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We've even got a drink named after you. The bartender asks, "What can I get you? The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short! The man asks, "Does your dog bite? The lady answers, "Never!

Best Jokes: I Have Ever Heard | Manik Joshi

The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite! This isn't my dog. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before? Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells, "Which one of you painted my horse?

The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here! Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: "I told him I was blind and I got a free beer! Sergey Kornilov. I hope the compiler ignores this person's comments. I think it's supposed to be ironic I think this post pretty well highlights how failing to spot irony really can make you look like a moron.

Is this somewhere on the Duke Nukem Forever source code? I don't get it, what's so funny? He's dedicating the code below to his wife, even though he knows it's so bad that it's going to either get him fired or make his company go out of business. Why will the dog be released to the public? Nosredna, thank you for such a funny comment! Generic; using System. Text; using System. Reflection; using System.

UI; namespace Mobile. I hope he dies. DeclaredOnly BindingFlags. Instance BindingFlags. Public BindingFlags. NonPublic ; if m! Don't use the fucking BindCompany method!!! That's riddled with obscenities, but I literally laughed in my cube the entire time reading it. Rolled back.

1. The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank…

We're all adults here. If the original code had been "sanitized", you would never have remembered it enough to post it here. Will be even funnier if a customer sees the class name in a stack trace.

There is nothing as permanent as temporary!!! That is ridiculous, who writes comments when they're drunk. Jiminy: Seriously! When I code drunk, I wake up with magnificent code that I, unfortunately, do not understand. If you don't understand it, it has to be magnificent! I made this just for fun: grepped my local subversion repo for 'drunk', and found one commit comment I wouldn't remember: "Works again, somehow.

I'm drunk! Do not touch. Jason Sundram. Reminds me of this: catb. I've had to write that so many times - mostly to remind myself that "If you touch the following code without really knowing what you're doing, bad things will happen! I still remember being taught CS in high school, where our stupid questions were answered with "Magic! Bart: You can't have half parens in your code, but you could do define if x if! As given this would actually work though: the comment-till-end-of-line characters make sure that likely lines where this macro is used will not compile.

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The code that followed made me cry. Go in peace my son. I wish comments like that were unfamiliar to me. I've seen this a lot. Makes it very easy to write large business functions, but you end up with some rather detailed comments at times. Be more specific.

Kevin hart's funniest best jokes comedy

I once hit a situation with loops nested 8 deep. The runtime was measured in hours. I had a O n algorithm with a ms network RTT in its inner loop. There is a redeeming quality: they know what big O terminology is at least. Dr Seuss writes code? Needs two more syllables at the end Just opened the comments to say that it needs two more syllables, but apparently I beat myself by three months.

I disagree with the need to additional syllables, the meter is perfect as is. Five groups of three syllables each. Well my opinion about commenting is that it shouldn't be needed. Reading code that is littered with comments makes me want to stab the offender in the scrotum-area. Refactor to make it readable instead! I completely agree with your comment that comments are rarely needed. Depends on the comments.

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Dad jokes are the best jokes. Here are 25 crackers you can steal and claim for your own… 1. The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank… I have no words to describe how angry I am. My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink… No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema.

People say smoking will give you diseases… But how can they say that when it cures salmon? Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected… — Ralph-Hinkley 8.