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If you are trying to convince your audience of something that is particularly controversial, it's likely that they will hear arguments to the contrary. Like a nurse giving a shot, you can immunize your audience against that point of view. Some people will respond best to statistics; others to an emotional appeal. By using both, you will appeal to the largest number of people possible. Also, using them together is a powerful combination--a one-two knockout that will convince most people. For example, think of an advertisement trying to raise awareness of child abuse.

Showing a picture of an abused child, or telling his story will bring about an emotional response in most people. Following that up with statistics--for example, "there are X children in our community who suffer the same abuse," --can be enough to motivate many people to action. Explain clearly the benefits of doing what you ask, or alternatively, the disadvantages of not doing it. Most people when asked to do something want to know, "What's in it for me? If you think about it, all of us do things for a reason.

There's always something in it for us, or we don't do it. This doesn't mean we or our audience need to get money or prestige out of doing or believing something. What we get might be feeling good because we are helping out. Or, we might be avoiding something we don't want to happen. But as simple as it might be, there is always an answer to "what's in it for me?

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This is what advertisers do; that's why you see the same advertisements over and over again. The more often you say something, and the more ways in which you say it, the more likely people will begin to believe it. What's the difference between these two terms? Well, repetition is saying or showing the exact same thing over and over. If you see the same advertisement for McDonalds so many times that you have it memorized, that's repetition. Repetition is helpful because it allows people to see or understand new and different things about the message.

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The audience can pick up details they didn't catch the first time. However, too much repetition just becomes annoying. We've all had the experience of really liking an ad or a song, and then having it played so often on the radio or television that we want to scream. There's definitely a point of diminishing returns with repetition that you need to be careful not to cross.

Redundancy can take care of some of this problem. In redundancy, you want to get the same message across, but you are doing so in different ways. For example, if McDonalds is having a sale on hamburgers, they might develop ten different advertisements for that sale. Seeing the same ad over and over is repetitive; seeing different ads for the same things is redundant. Both of these techniques can be used effectively by community leaders when trying to influence people.

For example, if you are giving a talk, you might make your main point at least three times--at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end of your talk. And you might make it in different ways throughout the speech. But in almost any situation, remember-- repetition and redundancy can be very powerful tools of influence. Generally speaking, you can't win an argument. Even if you win, you may lose. People don't like to be wrong.

By arguing, you're telling other people just that--they are wrong. This could seriously harm the relationship, especially if you don't know the person very well. Sometimes, of course, you will disagree. It's human nature--we won't always see things eye to eye. When this happens, first decide if the disagreement is worth pursuing. Is it really necessary to show the other person they are wrong? If you feel it is, always try to do it calmly and simply, and without making personal attacks. The more you ask people to do, or the more drastic the change in opinion you are asking for, the less likely it is people are going to do it.

Try to make what you want people to do seem simple and logical. Explain how they can do what you ask with very little change or effort beyond what usually occurs in their lives. If the change of opinion or action you are working for is complicated, or very long term, break it into pieces you ask people to do. For example, if you want more neighborhood kids to go to college, you might concentrate first on getting them to go to class. Then, they might think about graduating from high school.

And as that looks more likely, they might be willing to consider college more seriously. But telling a seventh grader that she can finish college and earn a fantastic salary as an engineer or a doctor may not seem very realistic. Take big ideas one step at a time. This is something you should never fail to do. Even if it didn't work; even if you felt like it was a waste of time.

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It's very important that people feel acknowledged and appreciated. Thanking them is a way to keep the lines of communication open for the next time you want to influence your audience. Just trying to influence an open, friendly audience to do something they aren't strongly opposed to takes time and work. Undertaking the logistics of finding the person, deciding how to present your case, figuring out exactly what to ask, and having enough time together to accomplish your goals is already a large task.

Everything becomes much more difficult, however, when you are trying to influence people under more trying circumstances. For example, if you and your audience don't know each other, or worse yet! When the going gets rough and the stakes are high, it's easy to get frustrated, angry, and in the end, do more damage than you thought possible to a relationship. Is it time to give up?

Absolutely not! Rather, it's time to step back, take a deep breath, and remember all of the great tricks you learned about influence. In particular, try to do the following:. It's easy to lose sight of the big picture, especially when the situation becomes tense or even explosive.

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A young American was traveling in North Africa, and found herself in a bazaar in Casablanca. Having found a pair of sandals to replace the pair she was wearing, she started bartering with the salesman. Considering herself a master bargainer, she took it as a point of pride to get the lowest price possible. But after a few moments, it became clear the shop assistant wasn't going to go any lower, despite her repeated pleas, and she began to get very angry.

Just then, she took a moment and thought about the price. She realized that, when she converted the amount from Moroccan Dirhams to U. Getting angry, frustrated, or upset won't do either of you any good. The other person will probably just get angry or frustrated as well, or annoyed with the entire situation.

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Also, and just as importantly, you don't think as clearly when you're upset, and may say things or make decisions that you will later regret. In short--getting upset won't do anyone any good. If you feel yourself in danger of losing your cool, try one of the following techniques to help yourself calm down:. It's very difficult for people to hear personal attacks without taking them personally. And when people are offended are upset, or feel their back is up against the wall, they will be less likely to hear the points you have to make, even if they are completely valid.

If you must be critical, be critical of a program or an action, not your audience. For example, consider these two statements, both given in response to the same problem:. Studies show that fish no longer live downstream from where waste from the company is being dumped.

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The second statement riles up your audience, and gives members of the audience the perfect chance to say, "we can't discuss anything with you. The first statement, on the other hand, gives clear facts that are not so easily ignored, and requires a response from members of the organization. A person may be acting in a way that is perfectly ridiculous to you. Remember, though: it's probably not to them. The more you can understand their motives, the better you can change your tactics to meet them--and eventually, get what you want.

If what you are trying isn't working, try something different. Think about magnets--if they are facing each other the wrong way, they repel each other, and you can't put them together for anything. However, if you turn them around, you can't keep them apart. Know when to change tactics and try something from a completely different angle. If you have been using carefully gathered statistics on child abuse to convince people to donate to your Children's Safe House, try some pictures and stories of children who have come through your doors.

If local restaurants are against a ban on smoking sections, despite all of your pleas for better health, show them statistics on restaurants whose business increased when they went smoke-free. Whatever you are doing, try to have many different perspectives in mind when you get together with your audience. Take a few moments to regain composure, or even break for the day. This can help a lot when tension gets too high or discussion has gone on for too long.

Both the communicator and the audience can use the opportunity to reassess the situation. Sometimes, if someone says no to something you find critical, the best thing to do is to go back to some points you have in common, discuss them for a while, and come back to it later. Sometimes, people will change their minds during the course of a conversation; new thoughts will come up, ideas sink in. If it's important enough to you to have agreement on this issue, this tactic can also work to simply wear them down.

In the general tips above, we talked about the importance of repetition. This is another way that might occur. If you find yourself unable to make any headway, who do you know who might have more luck? Sometimes, as we discussed above, you won't be the best person to get the message across. Unfortunately, you might not know that until you are in the thick of conversation with your audience. However, other people will have more weight with the person or people you are trying to influence.

Find out who the person respects or will listen to, and ask them to try to convince the person. If your message simply isn't being accepted and it's very important that you come to an agreement, you might consider the use of a trained mediator. This is a person who's not from your group or your opponent's group, but whom you both trust to be fair. He or she can help both sides agree upon a standard by which you'll judge your resolution. Standards are a way to measure your agreement. They include expert opinions, law, precedent the way things have been done in the past , and accepted principles.

For example, let's say you're building a new playground for your town's elementary school. You disagree with the superintendent about what kinds of materials you'll use to build the playground. The superintendent wants to use chemical treated wood, but you feel it's unsafe. A mediator might read the current guidelines of the lumber industry and tell you which kinds of wood are considered safe for children. Maybe you and the superintendent will agree to follow the lumber industry's advice--in other words, to use that as the standard.

Of course, there are often many kinds of standards. There may also be a national parent group that suggests certain safety guidelines for playgrounds. A mediator might help you and the superintendent negotiate about whose standard you'll use. Your mediator could also, for example, run your brainstorming session. Here are some other possible jobs for a mediator:. Many trained mediators are also lawyers. A list of people with training in mediation can be found in your local yellow pages.

Whatever you are trying to convince your audience to do or believe, there are times when even the most effective leader won't be able to convince them to accept the message. Or, you may be able to convince them, eventually, to do what you want, but at a price tag in time, energy, or lost goodwill that is just too high. When trying to influence someone, then, know when to bow out gracefully, and to save your armor for another day.

The ability to influence someone successfully is one of the most important and challenging jobs any leader will face. This section gives an overview of some general ideas behind this science of persuasion. By fully understanding this information, a leader can become very effective in his or her work. We encourage you to think carefully about your use of influence, and to use it wisely and ethically as you pursue your goals. Steve's Primer of Practical Persuasion and Influence.

Berkowitz, W. Community and Neighborhood Organization. Rappapport and E. Seidman Eds Handbook of Community Psychology. New York,NY: Plenum. Carnegie, D. How to win friends and influence people Rev. Cialdini, R. Influence: Science and practice. McRae, B.

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  8. Negotiating and influencing skills: The art of creating and claiming value. Nelson, R. Better business meetings. Pratkanis, A. Age of propaganda: The everyday use and abuse of persuasion. New York, NY: W. Zimbardo, P. The psychology of attitude change and social influence.

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    Skip to main content. Toggle navigation Navigation. Chapter Chapter 14 Sections Section 1. Developing and Communicating a Vision Section 3. Discovering and Creating Possibilities Section 4. Understanding People's Needs Section 5. Building and Sustaining Commitment Section 6. Influencing People Section 7. Building and Sustaining Relationships Section 8. Learning From and Contributing to Constituents Section 9. Making Decisions Section Overcoming Setbacks and Adversity. The Tool Box needs your help to remain available. Toggle navigation Chapter Sections.

    Section 1. Main Section Checklist PowerPoint. Learn how to influence an audience successfully by using our overview of some general ideas behind the science of persuasion. What are elements of influence? How might you influence people? Here are some other things a leader might try to convince people to do: "Join our coalition" "Give us money" "Respect our group" "Work harder" "Stop smoking" "Support youth in the arts" What other ideas or actions do you, as a leader, try to influence people to believe or do?

    At the simplest level, influence is simply the effective combination of three elements: A communicator -- the person who wants to influence someone A message -- what the communicator wants the audience to do or believe An audience -- the recipient or recipients of the message. Throughout this section, we will refer to the person or people you want to influence as the audience, even if your audience is just one person. For example: A son the communicator wants his mother the audience to stop smoking the message.

    A company the communicator wants teenagers the audience to buy a certain brand of soda pop the message. A coalition chair the communicator wants community members the audience to become active members the message. Laying the groundwork First, there are some general tips to work on even when you are not trying to influence a specific person to do or believe something right now.

    Network Always look for chances to form new relationships and to strengthen ones that already exist. Sound familiar, or at least realistic? Then ask yourself this: How might it be different if the activist, instead of being a stranger, is the head of an organization you work with, and who has helped you out on numerous occasions?

    Our guess is the grocery store would have seemed a lot less important. Understand that credibility counts Unfortunately, you don't always have the luxury of knowing every person you want to influence. Be trustworthy in your personal and professional affairs This is related to our last point on credibility, but is important enough to be talked about explicitly as well.

    Be open to suggestions and possibilities Being flexible is always a good idea. Speak up! Remember that people hear what they want to hear That is, they generally won't go out of their way to listen to an opposing opinion. Don't expect overnight results Things take time if they are going to be done well, whether we like it or not. Tactics for influencing others In the last few paragraphs, we've looked at some everyday things you can do to be ready to influence people when the need arises.

    Use comparison. Give something away. Get people in the habit of saying yes. Steve Booth-Butterfield, an expert on persuasion, explains this idea with the following example: Earnest Salesperson : "Excuse me, but do you think that a good education is important for your kids? Decide what you want This includes deciding what is essential--what you absolutely, positively want to see happen.

    Decide whom you want to influence directly and indirectly This may be obvious--for example, you may want to convince a member of your staff to work harder, and can best do so by speaking with her personally. Start in a friendly manner By putting people at ease, they are much more likely to listen to your point of view. There are a number of ways to do this, including: Praise.

    Everyone likes to be appreciated. Also, by verbally assuming the best about the other person, you give them something to live up to. You're appealing to their nobler motives. Try starting a conversation by saying, "I've been looking forward to this discussion. You have a reputation as being excellent to work with, or very fair, or an excellent negotiator, or so on and I'm sure we can come to an agreement we are both happy with.

    Be interested in their interests. People love to talk about things they enjoy, and rarely get to talk about them enough. By spending a few moments on what your audience enjoys, you will have captured their interest as well as their good will, giving you an excellent atmosphere in which to continue. Call people by name. Everyone loves to hear their name--it's most people's favorite word. By using their name, you show people you are aware of them as an individual-- it shows respect for the person.

    Also, remembering the names of people you don't know well can be very flattering. Be careful of criticism. Generally, it's not going to do any good, and it can do a lot of harm. For example, criticism caused the author Thomas Hardy to give up writing novels. If you must criticize, do so gently, and in a constructive manner.

    You might even try calling attention to your own mistakes first--that way, you're saying, "Hey! Click To Tweet 2. How hard can that be? I am, which means I often see things from a 30, feet perspective. And at 30, feet, everything looks easy. Launch a new location? Change everything? Start right now. Write a book? Piece of cake. After all, how hard can it be? Well, apparently, quite hard. When your team knows you see how hard it is, they're far more motivated to work hard.

    Click To Tweet 3. Do they need more time? Is their workload still realistic? Is there anything you can to help? Minimizing the workload your team is facing maximizes their frustration with you. Click To Tweet 4. You love to be the one with all the ideas. Let it happen. Let the ideas circulate in them. Celebrate it when ideas vest in your team and arise from your team. The leader who tries to steal someone else's thunder ends up creating a whole new set of storms. Click To Tweet 5. When you celebrate your team's ideas, you'll discover that your team tends to generate more ideas. Click To Tweet 6.

    I thought you just got back from vacation It can be easy as a boss to think everybody should be at work every day, 52 weeks a year. Bad idea. People need a break and should have meaningful time off. Applaud them. Remember, you bring who you are into everything you do. And a rested you is a better you.

    You bring who you are into everything you do. Don't disparage days off and vacation. A rested you is a better you.

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    Click To Tweet 7. You Have To… Guess what? Nobody has to do anything. Volunteers can quietly walk out the door at any moment. The principle under this? When you give people an out, they lean in. Change that. Want to beat overwhelm and have the time to reflect, rest and reinvent yourself? Anything Else? What phrases have you said or heart that frustrate your team?

    Scroll down and leave a comment! Posted in Communication , Leadership , Life , Mission , Spiritual Growth , Strategy , Vision and tagged emotional intelligence , Leadership , self awareness , self-aware leadership , self-regulation. Cindy Bautch on June 24, at am. Has crushed me several times. Sean on June 24, at am.