Never repeat a common multiple times as your child will quickly learn that you are not being serious and continuing to misbehave will only result in more harmless words. Use 'I' Messages when disciplining your child. Rather than saying "you made me upset for not cleaning up your toys' phrase it as 'i am upset that you didn't clean up your toys'. Statements with 'you' in them can seem accusatory and lead to aging that may be avoided.
Ensure your child understands that you love him or her, just not the behavior. Over-praising can make your comments less effective. As your child is already used to following your instructions, you can expect better results when your child does misbehave. It reinforces the fact that it is okay to hit people if they misbehave, a trait you definitely do not want your child to adopt.
Spanking has been proven to be no more effective than other methods of discipline and can even make children more aggressive and angry. Offer rewards and praise for good behavior, just not for doing routine activities. It is also important that you understand the difference between a reward and a bribe. Bribes are given to get your child to complete a task while rewards are given after. You want to avoid bribes as it can teach your child to take before giving.
By being a good role model you can be sure that your child is only imitating positive traits. Simply ignore any protests and continue to act on the punishment.
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You can discuss how the punishment could have been avoided later after your child has calmed down. Learn to ignore minor or harmless misbehaviors such as fidgeting. Reacting to every little thing your child does with discipline can lead to an inferiority complex. Perhaps the most important point, provide your child with a safe environment.
Ensure that your child feels secure and loved. A safe and secure child is more likely to respond positively to discipline. Seems like a lot to take in doesn't it? Don't worry, with a little practice discipline is can be both easy and effective. The first step to better discipline is to identify and encourage good behavior.
You will find that it is much easier to reinforce good behavior than it is to prevent and change bad behavior. The easiest way to reinforce good behavior is by offering praise when your child successfully completes tasks or performs well.
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Although your child's mischievous smile may suggest otherwise, children actually will seek approval for the things that they do, especially from their parents. A simple way to let your child know that they have done something correctly or taken the correct steps to do something you wanted is by showing affection. A hug, kiss or smile to reward the little things such as sitting quietly, completes a chore without any problems or even simply playing cooperatively.
Don't forget to give verbal approval. When you are giving verbal approval don't just say 'Great job' or 'Well done'. Tie the approval in with specific behaviors or actions, for example 'I like it when you put your books away when you are finished with them. Some children respond effectively to making good behavior fun. Your child is more likely to follow your instructions if he or she is having fun.
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For example, say 'let us see who can pick up the most toys' Jump in and race your child don't get too caught up in the competitive moment, let your child win. I know it took so long to get to discipline techniques, but it is important that you are knowledgeable about the basics so you can effectively implement each technique. You can use distraction to get your child's attention away from inappropriate behaviors.
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Suggest a different activity or play toy. Do not use something your child will consider a reward to distract your child. Tags: Parents Parents - Communication, identity and behaviour Babies and toddlers Babies and toddlers - Behaviour and learning Children Children - Behaviour and learning. Discipline is not another word for punishment. Disciplining your child means teaching them responsible behaviour and self-control.
By disciplining your child you are attempting to:
With appropriate and consistent discipline, your child will learn about consequences and taking responsibility for their own actions. The ultimate aim is to encourage the child to learn to manage both their feelings and behaviour. This is called self-monitoring. At its best, discipline rewards the child for appropriate behaviour and discourages inappropriate behaviour, using fair and positive means.
Some parents think that discipline means physical punishment, such as hitting and smacking, or verbal abuse such as yelling or threatening the child. This is not discipline. The consequences of physical punishment Children learn by example. It is important that parents act as a model for how they want their children to behave. Using physical punishment or inflicting pain on a child to stop them from misbehaving only teaches them that it is OK to solve problems with violence. Children learn how this is done from watching their parents use physical violence against them.
Reasons for misbehaviour Children misbehave for many reasons: They are too young to know that their actions are unacceptable. They are frustrated, angry or upset and have no other reasonable way to express their feelings. They are stressed by major changes such as family breakup, a new sibling or starting school. They are not getting your attention when they do behave appropriately. They feel you have been unfair and want to punish you. They need a greater degree of independence and feel constricted. A very young child, such as a baby, has no comprehension of right and wrong.
Children under three do not misbehave — they have needs that they want met, such as hunger and thirst.
When they continue to go out in the sun without their hats, they are not disobedient — they just cannot remember. Try to explain things to your child in a way that matches their development level and remember to also lower yourself to their physical level. Children act out their feelings through their behaviour, so it is important to understand the feelings behind the behaviour. Routines help a child to learn Children learn how to behave by copying the adults around them. They thrive when they know what is expected of them and their day has a similar pattern to it.
Children feel safe when they know the order of events and can predict what will happen next. Clearly explain the preferred behaviour and make sure your child understands what you expect of them. For example, it is normal for young toddlers to make a mess while they are eating, because motor control and table manners take time to master.
Young children are also unable to sit at the table for long periods of time and often need to eat much earlier than the family is used to having their evening meal. If you must make threats, make sure they are reasonable and carry them out. Generally threats show our frustration as parents or carers and are not a positive way to encourage the behaviour we want in children. Ask your child to be involved in making some of the rules for the family. Explaining consequences Good discipline helps a child to learn that there are consequences for their actions.
Ideally, the consequence should immediately follow the action and should be relevant to the behaviour. This is a time for the child to regain their composure and return to the group with their dignity intact Play by themselves when they have been aggressive. As children get older, under the guidance of helpful discipline, the child will learn to take themselves to their room when they are losing control.
It may be best to temporarily remove yourself from a situation you are finding stressful. This may mean making sure your child is safe and leaving the room for a few minutes. Another option is calling a friend or relative to give you a break. Reinforcing good behaviour A child naturally wants the love and approval of their parents, so one of the easiest ways to encourage good behaviour is for children to know what behaviour is expected of them and to know they will be recognised and encouraged for it.
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Parenting on your own A person can become a single or sole parent for many different reasons. Parenting services Parenting is one of the most important tasks we undertake but it doesn't always come naturally Raising Children Network Raising Children Network is an online parenting resource providing research-based information Travelling with children If your child is old enough, involve them in planning a trip so they can get excited about it Family structures 10 tips for happier step-parenting Give your undivided attention when your child asks for it Adoption Adoption can give a secure family life to children who can?
Empty nest syndrome The grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event Foster care Foster care is temporary care of children up to 18 years by trained, assessed and accredited foster carers Kinship care Kinship care is the care provided by relatives or a member of a child's social network when a child cannot live with their parents Moving out of home — tips for parents If you don't approve of your child's reasons for moving out, try to keep the lines of communication open Permanent care After experiencing abuse, neglect or rejection, many children are slow to put their trust in anyone Single parenting In single-parent households, issues such as holidays or major family purchases are more likely to be decided with the children Stepfamilies Becoming part of a stepfamily involves adjusting to a number of changes Surrogacy Surrogacy is a form of assisted reproductive treatment ART in which a woman carries a child within her uterus on behalf of another person or couple Communication, identity and behaviour 10 tips for managing sibling rivalry Teach your children to sort out minor differences themselves Body image and young people - staying positive video The pressure on young girls and boys to be physically perfect is creating an epidemic of children and teenagers with low self-esteem and negative body image.
Body image — tips for parents Give your child opportunities to appreciate their body for what it can do, rather than what it looks like Bullying Parents can help with bullying by supporting their child and involving the authorities to find solutions Children and shyness If your child's shyness is especially debilitating, you may like to consider professional help from a counsellor or psychologist Children and sibling rivalry Sibling rivalry is a common problem, particularly among children who are the same sex and close together in age Discipline and children Disciplining your child means teaching them responsible behaviour and self-control Family conflict It is normal to disagree with each other from time to time and occasional conflict is part of family life Internet addiction Internet addiction refers to the compulsive need to spend a lot of time on the Internet, to the point where relationships, work and health suffer Partying safely — tips for parents With a few simple plans in place, a good time can be had by all at a teenage party — even the parents Peer pressure Peer groups can be a very positive influence on your teenager's life Sex education - tips for parents Mothers are more likely to talk about intimate, emotional and psychological aspects of sex than fathers Talking to primary school children about sex Some parents find it hard to talk with their primary age children about sex, but help is available Teenagers and communication Accept that your adolescent may have a different view of the world and respect their opinions Young children and communication Children thrive with words of encouragement and praise Children — keeping them active A young child is naturally active, so build upon their inclinations to use their body Children's diet - fruit and vegetables If you eat and enjoy fruit and vegetables every day, your child may eventually follow your lead Dr Margaret's Story video Access to vaccines has changed lives and protects our children from crippling diseases such as polio Eating disorders and adolescents Often, an eating disorder develops as a way for an adolescent to feel in control about what's happening in their life Healthy eating tips A good balance between exercise and food intake is important to maintain a healthy body weight Immunisation — deciding which vaccines you need Everyone's immunisation needs are different and are influence by your health, lifestyle, age and occupation Obesity in children - management If your child is overweight, you can help by making healthier lifestyle choices for yourself Parent's guide for active girls Physical activity is an important part of health and wellbeing, and girls should remain active as they grow up Soft drinks, juice and sweet drinks - children Encourage children to drink and enjoy water.
Youth suicide — the warning signs All suicide threats are serious. Common childhood health concerns Abdominal pain in children Children may feel stomach pain for a range of reasons and may need treatment Allergies explained Allergy occurs when the body overreacts to a 'trigger' that is harmless to most people Anxiety and fear in children You can help your child overcome anxiety by taking their fears seriously and encouraging them to talk about their feelings Asthma, children and smoking Exposure to second-hand smoke increases the risk of children developing asthma and provokes more frequent asthma in children with asthma Asthma in childhood - triggers video Parents and children talk about some of the factors that can cause a child's asthma to flare up Back pain in children Children with back pain may grow into adults with chronic bad backs, so it is important to encourage sensible back care Bedwetting Bedwetting is a problem for many children and punishing them for it will only add to their distress Behavioural disorders in children Untreated behavioural disorders in children may mean they grow up to be dysfunctional adults Bronchiolitis Bronchiolitis is a common chest infection in babies under six months of age Chest infections A chest infection affects your lungs, either in the larger airways bronchitis or in the smaller air sacs pneumonia Chickenpox Chickenpox is highly contagious, but it is generally mild and gets better without the need for special treatment Children and vomiting Mild vomiting is normal in most babies and improves over time Children's feet and shoes A child learning to walk receives important sensory information from the soles of their feet, and shoes can make walking more difficult Choking Don't slap a choking person on the back while they are upright - gravity may cause the object to slip further down their windpipe Colds Cold viruses are spread by sneezing, coughing and hand contact Colic Caring for a crying baby with colic can be stressful, so take some time out to calm down Constipation and children A healthy diet, plenty of fluids, exercise and regular toilet habits can help relieve constipation in children Coughing and wheezing in children Coughing and wheezing in babies can be distressing for you and your baby, but in most cases symptoms can be relieved at home Cradle cap Cradle cap is not contagious and it is not caused by poor hygiene or bad parenting Croup Croup is a viral infection of the throat and windpipe that causes noisy breathing, a hoarse voice and a harsh, barking cough Cysts Cysts may be as small as a blister or large enough to hold litres of fluid Dental anxiety and phobia Dental anxiety is common, but there are ways to help you manage it.
Dental treatment Modern techniques mean that dental and oral health treatment is almost always painless Depression explained The most important thing is to recognise the signs and symptoms and seek support Ear infections It is estimated that around four out of five children will experience a middle ear infection at least once Epilepsy in children Children with epilepsy generally have seizures that respond well to medication, and they enjoy a normal and active childhood Feet - problems and treatments Correctly fitted shoes help you avoid foot and leg pain or injury Fever - children Fever is a way in which the body fights infection.
Fever - febrile convulsions A febrile convulsion is a fit that occurs in children when they have a high fever Food allergy and intolerance Food allergy is an immune response, while food intolerance is a chemical reaction Gastroenteritis in children Gastroenteritis or Gastro can be dangerous for very young babies. Growing pains Growing pains may cause a lot of pain but they are harmless and can respond to simple treatments Hand, foot and mouth disease Good personal hygiene is essential to prevent the spread of hand, foot and mouth disease to others, both for those infected and their carers Head lice nits No product can prevent head lice, but regular checks can help prevent the spread Hearing problems in children The earlier that hearing loss is identified in children, the better for the child?
Immunisation history statements for children By law, parents or guardians must provide an Immunisation History Statement when enrolling children in any childcare service, kindergarten or primary school in Victoria Immunisations - vaccinations in Victoria, Australia video Vaccinations are encouraged for all individuals living in the state of Victoria, Australia.
Jaundice in babies If your baby is full-term and healthy, mild jaundice is nothing to worry about and will resolve by itself within a week or so Lactose intolerance Symptoms of lactose intolerance include bloating, gas, abdominal pain and diarrhoea Male Circumcision Male circumcision involves the surgical removal of the foreskin of the penis Melissa's story video Melissa shares her story of how her baby caught chickenpox at 5 weeks old Meningococcal disease Do not leave young adults alone if they suddenly develop a fever because they may become seriously ill very quickly Nappy rash Most babies get nappy rash at some stage, no matter how well they are cared for Obesity in children - causes Once children are overweight, it takes a lot of effort for them to return to a healthy weight Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents.
The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you're constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance.
Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you. You can't expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so. If we don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis.
Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
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Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out. If you often feel "let down" by your child's behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in "shoulds" for example, "My kid should be potty-trained by now" might find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists.
Kids' environments have an effect on their behavior, so you might be able to change that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your 2-year-old, look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you. As your child changes, you'll gradually have to change your parenting style.
Chances are, what works with your child now won't work as well in a year or two. Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence.